Day 15: What do you like about being aromantic? What do you dislike?
I guess I’ve never considered it in terms of like or dislike. It’s like asking me what I like and dislike about being a person; I’d have to compare being a person to what I imagine being a dolphin is like to even begin to contemplate it.
I like being free and independent. I like feeling complete by myself and not needing someone else around. (I want other people around quite often, but I rarely truly need them. There’s a difference.)
There’s nothing I dislike except some people’s reactions towards the idea of aromanticism. I despise people telling me that I need someone or I’m in denial or anything else like that, because a) you’re not in my head, how dare you assume you know what I’m thinking/feeling better than I do and b) how DARE you tell me what to do with my life, especially my personal life that doesn’t affect you and is none of your fucking business. I dislike having to worry about my own behavior and wondering if I’m unintentionally being flirtatious. And I hate the way society puts romance on a pedestal and focuses on it so much, especially in the media.
Day 13: What is your ideal job/career?
Ugh IDEK. For years I’ve been telling people that I want to do pharmaceutical research, but I kind of just picked that because I like biology and chemistry and I don’t want to be a doctor, thus, research.
But now I’m not exactly sure because science is fun and all but working in research might be too…social? Maybe? I’m considering learning computer programming, because that’s something you can definitely do alone. I guess I just want something interesting (monotony day in and day out would be torturous) but with regular hours so that I can spend time doing other stuff I like to do, and something with fairly minimal interpersonal interaction. But I don’t want to be my own boss, because I know I’d never get anything done.
And again, what does this have to do with aromanticism?
Day 12: Who is your favorite aromantic character?
Uhhh IDK. The ones I’m thinking about now are from Death Note (Light, and Near’s okay too) but there are others. Personally I like to think of Luna from Harry Potter as aromantic (even though I ship Harry/Luna? But not in a romantic way). I guess it’s hard to find a character that people haven’t made romantic in some way.
Day 11: What’s your favorite fictional friendship?
What, I’m supposed to pick one? I don’t think I even have one. I like bromances (though some people interpret them as romances) like Kirk and Spock.
Day 10: If you’re involved in fandoms, do you/how do you ship? (gen fic, romantic ships, friendships, queerplatonic ships, etc.)
Oh, I am so into fandom it is not even funny. I’m even in fandoms for shows I don’t watch, hence my adoption of the term fanaddict.
I do ship—mostly slash, and mostly stuff that isn’t canon. (I’m generally an AU person; canon is done already so it’s kind of boring.) I’ve never considered friendships as part of shipping; and certainly a lot of the relationships I read about aren’t really traditionally romantic. (Now I tend to interpret most things that aren’t explicitly stated romance as sexually platonic.) That being said, I do love good gen fic, and even when I’m reading shippy stuff I prefer things with more than JUST a relationship story.
Day 9: What are some of your hobbies?
Reading. Writing. Doodling. Taking stupid internet quizzes. Tumblr. Listening to music and telling myself that someday I’ll get a job and buy a bass/guitar and actually start playing music. Overanalyzing stuff.
There are more but I’m a bit confused; how does this relate to aromanticism?
How do you feel about children? Do you want/have children?
Don’t have any and don’t particularly want any either. People tell me that I’m “good with children” because I have three younger cousins and I spent a lot of time babysitting them as we grew up but honestly I am indifferent to most children. (Some of them are annoyingly loud. And some of them don’t respect my personal space. And some of them aren’t very hygienic.) I don’t get all the fuss over babies—“OMG so cute!” Really? It’s a crying, puking poop machine. No, I don’t want to hold it.
I suppose I could, theoretically, have children, but I’d be a pretty strange parent.
Do you like physical affection? If so what kind? (hugging/cuddling/holding hands/kissing/etc.)
Not really. I’m definitely not a touchy-feely person. I do not do cuddling or holding hands. Hugging is reserved for greeting/say farewell to people if we haven’t/won’t see each other for a while. I’m okay with people getting in my personal space in certain circumstances (ie. in a crowded place where it is unavoidable, AND they aren’t being creepy) but for the most part I would rather not be touched.
Are you more of a planner or a fly by the seat of your pants kind of person?
IDK, I’m pretty squarely in the middle. I do plan for big things, and I’m not usually one to…spontaneously visit friends, for example. But when I’m on my own I don’t bother to make a schedule or anything; I just do what I want when I want to.
Would you consider being in a romantic relationship, or if you have, in another?
Nope. Not interested.
Have you ever been/are you in a romantic relationship?
Nope. And I don’t see that changing any time soon, if ever.
How would you describe your ideal relationship?
Uhhh IDEK if I have one…but the traditional idea of a romantic relationship is not for me. It would probably be sexual, but not necessarily monogamous (ie. we would be each other’s primary sexual partners but we could have other partners as well if we felt like it). They’d have to be intellectually interesting; even if we didn’t agree on everything we’d probably have similar viewpoints on most of the big issues. Someone to debate and theorize with would be nice. And it would be cool if we enjoyed similar activities, and had similar taste in movies and music (because having to compromise every time you watch something or listen to something seems annoying).
The one thing I don’t really want is a lot of emotional intimacy. I’d like to be ABLE to talk to this person about things that are important to me, but I wouldn’t want to spend a lot of time talking about our feelings. (Not much time = about once a month, I guess? Or maybe just when something major happens?) And I wouldn’t want to live with them, either. (I guess it would be okay if we were roommates, but honestly I would prefer to live on my own.)
Describe your best friendship(s).
I have lots of best friends! (IDK, they seem to come in triads, actually, because there are 3 super-best friends from high school and 3 from college.) My relationships vary from individual to individual, but what they have in common is that no matter how far away we are or how long we go without talking, we can always pick up where we left off. That’s really important, I think, because I’m really bad at the whole keeping-in-touch thing, even when I try not to be. (Oh, and these are people that I can talk to about anything. They’re the ones that I actually “came out” to in terms of atheism and aromanticism and bisexuality. Everyone else…if they ask, I’ll tell them, but I don’t really care if they know. My best friends? I specifically contacted them to let them know.)
What types of relationships do you most enjoy?
I haven’t been in any relationships beyond friendship, so I’m not really sure how to answer this question? I will say that right now I do not want a partner, either romantic or otherwise. I’m quite happy on my own as long as I have a few friends I can hang out with/talk to.